Thursday, April 29, 2010

tHERsDay: Prom Dress Shopping



Prom Dress Shopping with my daughter. Typically atypical, as usual. That's what makes my life the greatest life I could imagine. Because it's not what I ever imagined. I've always loved surprise endings and plot twists.

In preparation for their big Prom in a few weeks, CB's school offered gently used, generously donated dresses and a space to "shop" with parents to avoid the stressors of regular department stores, crowds, and unenlightened sales people. It's also easy on the wallet as the only expense involved is cost of alterations and cleaning.

Not what I pictured dress shopping with my teenage daughter would be. As you can see, a few smaller sized dresses hung on the shower bar of the little bathroom.



The A.D.L. room (for those not in the know, that is the room to practice Daily Living Skills) had racks of clothes, coffee and cake for the Moms, wonderful and happy staff helping out and an energy so positive, you could feel the air vibrating against your skin.

Not what I pictured, but when CB was brought from her class into the room to find me there, I got one of the biggest hugs and smiles I've received from her in a long time. And when she hugs me like that, I never let go first.

Someone once told me "She would have been so pretty." They were mistaken. She already is.






She was getting really pissy by the fourth dress. Getting dressed is not her thing. She wanted to go home. Some of the cubicle walls went flying. But she hung in there, glowing despite herself in gown after gown.





Though the girl looked gorgeous in everything, all 5 foot 3 and 85 pounds of her, we settled on a pale pink 2-piece, simple number that reminded me of old Hollywood meets hip teen. There was something fragile about her in it. Something innocent and vulnerable. Like an infant's first smile. A lily freshly bloomed. A heart undefended. Plus, it was the only one that didn't need alterations. Man, she is tiny!

My lovely girl.


Fear not: On the night of the prom we'll forgo the black socks and hair scrunchy. The hand stims will stay though. You can dress her up, but you can't stop the hands from flappin'.

Not what I thought it would be. But just as good. Just as beautiful.

20 comments:

Sheila said...

i LOVED this! she looks beautiful! look at her in that second picture....strike a pose, CB!

Kim said...

She is beautiful. All your girls have those gorgeous eyes! I love the dress you chose--perfect!

Claire said...

Perfect...I am suddenly sad my gal never got her grade 8 grad because of politics...sigh.

SpagettiWarewolf said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Barbara said...

Wow, she is absolutely gorgeous! To have somebody say to you she "would" be pretty, are you serious? that daughter of yours is a knockout! Honestly, from those pictures you would never ever know she had autism, or was even disabled! The flapping by the way is a good sign, as long as there is no fecal smearing going on on those amazing dresses ;)!

I'm anonymous before on your post about fecal smearing. Allow me to introduce myself as I am slowly getting use to this fancy internet stuff.. I'm Barbara and I have three children, and two with autism, my daughter who is in her 20s with severe-profound autism, my son with moderate-severe autism. My daughter showed signs of classic autism right from the gecko while my son somehow went from the typically developing, interacting chatterbox, to a nonverbal, unresponsive, head banging autistic child!

Nice to meet you, love your blog, your CB reminds me a lot of my daughter! Glad to see more blogging about girls with autism especially severe forms of autism!

Alicia DiFabio said...

Hi Barbara. Thanks for introducing yourself! Please keep in touch.... we definately have a bunch in common.

@Spagetti Warewolf... if you are a normal person, please let me know bc the comment left for me freaked me out a bit.

Staack said...

So sorry Alicia i don't know why that name showed up for me. But it was just CB's loving uncle who may not be normal but from me i am sure my comment would not have freaked you out a bit.

Alicia DiFabio said...

LOL!!!!! :) Thanks for putting my mind at ease. NOW it ALL MAKE SENSE!! :) You can be her date anytime. She's probably waiting for you to ask her! OMG... i thought i had a pedophile totally stalking her and was ready to pull my blog off the air.... ;)

Richelle said...

This is an amazingly gorgeous post! I love that she was able to try on all those beautiful dresses! My heart sank as well when you mentioned that someone said she would have been so beautiful...she IS beautiful! I hope she has a great time at her prom...and I hope my little girl gets the chance to go to hers someday!

Nancy C said...

This is a gorgeous post, to match that lovely, lovely girl.

mommy~dearest said...

She is so beautiful-
And that second to last pic is reminiscent of a forlorn princess fretting her knight won't make it back to save her from the evil one holding her captive. I love it!

So happy it was a positive experience for you both! And hey, CB- I don't like trying on clothes either. Awesome job!

pajama mom said...

"when she hugs me like that, i never let go first"

love.it.

gorgeous pics!

Jacquie said...

I have to say it is comical to watch the first pictures of her, dressing up happy,
slowly getting bored, and then just complaining.
sometimes we moms have to enjoy ourselves too.

blackknightsbrood said...

I got stuck on the picture of her sitting in the pale pink (peach?) dress. I was thinking some of the same words you wrote in the paragraph that followed it immediately - fragile, innocent, vulnerable, and beautiful. Her posture, the way her arms and hands are, something about that picture is really special.

(I liked that you put pics of her in all of the dresses! Goodness, if I had pics of some of the dresses my mom and I tried on for proms... It will be a neat memory for you both)

Tanya @ TeenAutism said...

She. Is. Stunning. And the smiles! She looks so gorgeous in all the dresses I can't pick a favorite!

Sunday said...

She truly is a classic beauty. She reminds me of Audrey Hepburn with her tiny features and her hauntingly beautiful eyes.
I especially love the second dress she was wearing, but then again she looks perfect in all of them!

Mama Deb said...

Oh, this post made my heart happy! I loved the first few pictures where you can tell that she really feels good about herself.
Yes, different than you imagined, but perhaps even more spectacular despite that!

Elizabeth said...

My god! She looks so beautiful in every dress. What a figure! And the look in her eyes is haunting and fragile and just beautiful.

Helena said...

She is lovely and looks so delicate and graceful - like a ballerina!

Cris said...

Buy Elegant Designer Evening Dresses | Prom Dresses | Formal Dress for Women!

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