Saturday, January 9, 2010

Blind Spot

photo by aminaspin on photobucket

When I received the news, I was shocked. But also not. Shocked in that it all came out of the blue, mostly because I was so removed from this person and this situation... from the conversations that would lead up to this. From the visual warning signs. But also not shocked, as this would be another chapter in a long story that never seemed to tie up with a ribbon of happy endings.

And so, despite the years of little contact... despite the miles that separate us... my heart felt broken. It's never nice to think of anyone suffering, but certainly not someone whom you've known the entirety of their life. Someone you grew up with. And though you may have grown up and grown apart, their life is inextricably tangled with yours, and there is never the question of love and loyalty despite the years of being virtual strangers.

And the thing that makes it all the worse is that while someone else was struggling and hurting and losing themselves, I sat in the corner of my little world, distracted with my own happiness and mayhem, never once thinking of anyone who didn't cross the sphere of my immediacy. Never once reaching out over the miles.

8 comments:

Cinda said...

I feel the sorrow in this post. I am sorry.

Tina said...

You could be talking about my mother...it sent me searching for her last known phone number with a sense of urgency and a need to check in.

Nancy C said...

I am sorry as well. Give yourself a break, and try to move forward in a way that honors this person and yourself. XOXOXO

michelle said...

Funny... all day I've been thinking of a friend I lost touch with a few years ago. Life was not easy for her, and I've been wondering if she's OK. Maybe it's time to reach out...

Thanks

kys said...

I'm sorry about this. Try not to beat yourself up about it.

Carrie Wilson Link said...

I'm sorry.

Tanya @ TeenAutism said...

I'm sorry, my friend. Take care.

Corrie Howe said...

I'm sorry to hear this. However, don't be hard on yourself. How could you have known?

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