Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Weekend Wrap Up

This weekend was my birthday, which was pretty uneventful compared to last year. Last year happened to be a 'landmark' birthday, so there was a good deal of celebrating. Now I'm just "in my ___s." The landmark birthday is never such a bummer because there's so much hoopla. It's the year after that gets to me.

I think I'm technically middle age now. Agggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....

This was me last year, not looking a day over 39 3/4.

Last year my family had a nice party for me. So did a group of my friends. I even went out the night of my actual birthday with my neighbors (kinda an accident that it was planned on my birthday, but hey I'll take it) and I got my free icecream sundae with a side of humiliation at TGIFridays.

But this year it was very low key. A few calls. Zero fanfare. Most of the wishes were on facebook and here. God bless social networking! My husband and I were not able to go out alone since our only babysitter is in Mexico right now and we have no family near by. Plan B was for ALL of us to go out to a restaraunt. Unfortunately, Tink thwarted those plans when she decided to spike a fever. Plan C: Japanese food at home. We had ice cream cake and an off-key rendition of Happy Birthday on Sunday.

My husband gave me a basket of bath/lotion smelly things. He chose the White Tea scent, somehow remembering that I said I loved that once a long time ago. Sometimes, he surprises me like that, when I don't even think he's paying attention to the little details.

Pink said to me "Mom, the best birthday present is us, right? That you have your kids here with you?" Her voice kind of choked up with emotion when she said it, as if she already knew at age 4 how much truth was in her words.

It's hard to be bummed about age when you're this blessed and happy.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Autumn Leaves

I haven't had to pick up a rake in 5 years. I'm making up for it now.

Holy Leaves.

But, this kinda makes raking them up a little more bearable.


Saturday, November 7, 2009

Give Me A Childish Moment...

no reason 2 act ur age.. Pictures, Images and Photos Remember my car accident trifecta? Well, the ONE (out of 3) accidents that actually was NOT my fault was the one that was proving to be the most stressful, long, drawn out and ugly. AND most expensive and extensive in way of damages. This was the one where a guy parked on the side of the road and opened his car door into traffic - into ME as I was driving by unable to notice him.

He proved to be a giant jerk... an intimidating, bully-type, giant jerk. Even his insurance claim agent from his OWN insurance company had some off-record negative commentary about him.

At one point this jerky guy left us an irritable phone message. After a long diatribe where he ranted on and on about ME being a liar, he said something to the effect of "It's in God's hands now" and that "God" would determine who was the honest one.

Oh, you're going THERE?!?! Whatever, dude.

Well, guess what? Not only did the police officer think it was 100% his fault, and every other lawyer/law enforcement person we spoke to AND my insurance company deduce it was his fault merely by the way the damage was on both our cars (pretty much indisputable)... and then HIS insurance company just recently agreed to pay 95% of our $1,000 deductible. Ergo - his fault. We could have gone to arbitration for the full 100%, but we just want to put it behind us.

So, he wanted to leave it in "God's hands?" Let the Big G decide guilt and blame? Well, I'm pretty sure God was really too busy to get involved in this nonsense, but, if The Almighty WAS involved, I guess He has spoken.

And in dignity and grace I say humbly:

In. Your. FACE!

And, now it's time to sing and dance:
Go me-ee.. it's my birthday... God loves me mo-ore... it's my birthday... you're a big fat liar... it's my birthday....nanananana.... you're a stinky jerk head...

...I'm doing the running man... now I'm churning the butter...

Oh yeah... Oh yeah....

Friday, November 6, 2009

November Is National Family Caregiver Month

In honor of National Family Caregiver Month, Care.com is opening up their site for free to everyone this weekend, November 6-8th.

Care.com provides a trusted place for families and caregivers (babysitters, nannies, special needs caregivers, tutors, senior caregivers) to easily connect and get advice. The service enables families to find and select the best care possible based on detailed profiles, background checks, and references for hundreds of thousands of caregivers who are seeking to share their services.

Don't forget to nominate a special caregiver in the Care.com Care Hero contest either! They, and you as the nominee, can win some amazing prizes!!

Thursday, November 5, 2009

tHERsDay

Thursday's HER Day. For all the pictures where she's left out. For all the vacations and parties where she is not present. I'm giving her a little weekly press. Just because it's Thursday.
_____________________________________________________________________

There's nothing like a good balloon.



r-word.org

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Out Of The Overflow Of The Heart, The Mouth Speaks

Silver Lining Pictures, Images and Photos
My blogger-friend Corrie shared this bible verse with me when commenting on the "Is Shouting The New Spanking" post.

Out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks.

Could there be anything more true?

I like to think I'm a kind, nice, forgiving, loving person. I like to think this. But sometimes, what comes out of my mouth...

... and to the ears of the people I love the most. Or need my love the most.

When my words have themes of self-centeredness, judgmentalness, sarcasm, bitterness, and criticism, I fear for what is in my heart.

So, to change the words, I suppose one must look into the heart.
I just wish I wasn't so afraid of what I might find in there.

Monday, November 2, 2009

Is Shouting The New Spanking?

I'm a yeller. I yell when I'm feeling rushed, frustrated, upset at other things, tired and overwhelmed. I yell not when my kids are being "bad" but more when I don't have the inner resources to cope with them being the 5, 3, 1 year olds that they are. In these moments, I don't just yell, I scream like a psychotic woman. It's seriously a scene from Mommy Dearest. While it effectively stops any annoying, obnoxious behavior the kids were engaging in, it probably does so because it totally freaks them out and/or devastates them into tears of fear and shock. I then experience "shouters remorse" for 2 days straight.

Though I am a yeller/screamer, I hate myself when I do it. But, in the grand scheme of parenting, yelling seems like a basic behavior management technique in the tool bag of most parents. Yelling, to a certain extent, is part of childhood, normalized and (as long as it doesn't go too far) socially accepted. Spanking, on the other hand, has always been more of a hot topic.

Well NOW it is suggested that yelling may be just as harmful as spanking... and perhaps, as Amy McCready suggests, yelling is the "new spanking." This very topic is discussed in a very compelling and sobering article in the New York Times by Hilary Stout entitled "Shouting Is The New Spanking." The article considers the potential harmful consequences of yelling at our children and points out that negative words given in harsh, overly critical and punitive tones added up over time are not only ineffective in managing problematic behavior but may also hurt a child's esteem, sense of self, and interpersonal interactions.

What really hit home to me was the analogy that if someone yells at us... a spouse, a friend, a co-worker, a stranger, it is a very emotionally laden experience and can often pierce us, anger us, confuse us, or make us feel threatened, unsafe, or not cared about, depending on the circustances and the words used. While we as adults know how unpleasant being yelled at is for us, this article points out how common place it is to see yelling, nitpicking, sarcasm, and snapping occuring daily with our children (mine are certainly no exception). Perhaps it is because only children can push your sanity to the edge...

A Professor on the Study of Interpersonal Acceptance and Rejection discusses how it isn't the yelling per se, but how the yelling is interpreted by that child. If it connotes anger, insult or sarcasm, it can be pereceived as rejection and have problematic effects. He doesn't beat around the bush, stating "Don't yell" and sites yelling as a risk factor for families.

Um, Yikes. I don't just yell "per se." I go for the gusto. I can get just plain nasty.

Double yikes.

What do YOU think? I'm interested in your opinions! To read this article, look over in my sidebar and find the Juice Box Jungle Widget. Wait until the graphic says "NY Times Shouting Vs. Spanking" (the widget flashes through several different images) and click to read the NY Times article - a short and provocative read. Take their poll too regarding spanking. Leave me your thoughts if you're so inclined. Especially if they relieve my insane guilt for ruining the lives of my children.