Thursday Is Her Day
It's like, I'm listening to this woman venting to a group of Moms about how tired and fed up she is after waking up at 5:00 am with some little puppy she is dog sitting and instead of laughing with the group all I could think were bitter thoughts. Thoughts of how I too had been up in the wee hours of the morning, but with a child in the throes of a violent, grand mal seizure who then went into an aggressive 20 minute long post-ictal psychosis ending with me getting punched in the face several times. How I sat on her floor until 6:00 am when she finally returned to sleep, trying to calm her without touching her, because my own daughter doesn't like me to touch her.
It's like, I go through the motions of the following day, speaking of gel nail polish and recipes and pinterest because you don't speak of this lest you bring the entire crowd down. So, I pretend that I live in the world of couponing and cute shoes, normal childhood stages and stupid puppies waking at dawn. Because I AM in that world, sometimes. Sometimes I just allow myself to get lost in it and pretend I'm a regular citizen, but it never takes long to be reminded that I'm a foreigner visiting on a temporary visa.
I'm happy for the days when I can just laugh and empathize about the dumb peeing puppy, but this day was not one of them. This day, I just had to get out of that room before I started to bawl or scream.