This is a photograph from CB's second birthday party back in 1997.
This is a photo from "before."
I labored over that Winnie The Pooh cake, hunched over it for nearly an hour with my icing bag, painstakingly lining up the frosting stars. Because, that's what I did in before.
Before her diagnosis of Autism and Cognitive Impairments, which came only months after this picture was snapped. Before the OT and PT and Speech and the train of seizure medications with their nasty side effects.
This was in before, when she "only had epilepsy" and I was still gloriously naive.
When she was gloriously perfect and mine.
Despite all the things that have changed from before, that has been the only thing remaining constant.
Perfect and mine, before and after.
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4 comments:
You and your children are perfectly beautiful :)
hello Alicia. You seem to be an amazingly nice, resilient and grounded person, who takes all that life has tyo offer gratefully, graciously and always try to be there for everyone. I love your blog and follow it regularly, sometimes difficult to post comments except as anonymous thats why sent you an e mail ( many moons ago) Your writing is beautiful and especially the way you write about dear CB, she is lucky to have you in her life and we are lucky to share some of the ways you try to be there for her, to be her voice. some of your posts really touch my heart like the ones of CBs proms, and the one where you are watching her while she is walking to her school bus and shared your thoughts with us and many more too, like the one above. Thank you for sharing such personal thoughts with me and reassuring me that there is so much goodness, kindness and love in and around us. Love you for the way you are.
She reminds me so much of my Sophie when she was little -- their hands, their gazes. I am so grateful for our connection these many years, for how our writing about our lives has linked us to one another. I hope one day to really meet you in person, but until then I have you and CB in my heart.
I second that Elizabeth :)!!
And thank you shazia minai for writing such a lovely, personal comment! It touched me so deeply...
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