Last Week of School = Whooo Hoooo!

One is out, three to go!  

I have four kids in 3 different schools and of course this snowy winter has affected them all. They were supposed to be out on June 13th, but here we are on June 24th still rockin' the school days.  The three little ones get out tomorrow (Whooop Whooop!) but CB finished up yesterday.

Sitting outside at 6:30 am, waiting for the last bus of the 2013-2014 school year!

 CB will attend a 6 week "extended year" program throughout the summer, so she's back to school after the fourth of July... and I'm back to early morning alarm clocks and being home in the afternoon to meet the bus.  But, that's okay. She needs the continuity. In two years, she's out of school completely and forever and we're all on our own. 

Here is her first day of school photo.

And the happy last day of school photo when I picked her up a bit early.

It felt long. It felt short.  

Time is a flyin'.

By Wednesday, EVERYONE is officially ALL done and is "DONE done!"  But don't get me wrong... we still have morning swim practices Monday through Friday, Wednesday night and Saturday morning swim meets, Monday art class, Tuesday band practice and three days a week tennis lessons.  

Yeah, not quite the relaxing summers I'm used to.  But, I'm still excited!  We just need to get through the rest of this week (including my triathlon on Saturday) and we're gold!

Swimming In Open Waters With Bricks

My first triathlon is a week from tomorrow, so I've been trying to get myself both physically and mentally prepared to finish.  That is the only goal I have — to finish. It's not about my "time," or my "place." It's simply the ability to swim (without panicking or drowning), bike (without crashing or getting a flat which I don't know how to change), and run (the only thing I actually feel comfortable with). I can do all these things separately, but one week from tomorrow I must do them all in A ROW.

Why? You may ask?  I ask myself the same question quite frequently.  In fact, I was screaming it in my head the day of my first open water swim.

Two weeks ago, (after practicing in a crystal clear, chlorinated pool, alone in my lane with walls to touch at each end) I realized I needed to get into the open water.  My tri club started their open water swims at the EXACT same lake where I am doing my triathlon so that makes it even better.  Best part is that it's barely 2 miles from my house.  They host these group swims once a week for a nominal charge (covering the life guard fee at a private lake). During those 2 hours in the evening, close to 200 women are in and out of that cold, murky lake swimming their quarter mile loop.

So, I rolled up on my first day a little nervous.  Then, I parked and got out my car and got A LOT nervous.  My throat closed, my body felt numb, and some sort of inexplicable emotion gripped me.  I felt a wave of unstoppable tears swell up.  I was simply overwhelmed by what I was about to do and I couldn't get control of the tears.

So, there I was... crying, and not really able to fully stop.  I kept trying to get myself together but the longer I just stood there, the more I realized I had two choices — get in or go home.  A few friends who noticed my mini-break-down talked to me and gave me lots of calming advice. One friend who had finished her own swim offered to go out again with me, but I declined.  I had to do this on my own.

I lowered myself quickly down the little latter in order to swim out with the next group of about 10 women treading water by a floating dock. There, you waited for the signal to go. The water was colder than I could have ever imagined. It was like immersing yourself in a bath of pure ice water. I had been warned that the cold water would "take your breath away," but nothing can prepare you for this feeling.  My body started seizing up and involuntarily holding its breath. Sticking my face in the ice water and trying to blow out was harder than I dreamed.  The water was dark, though cleaner than I expected - some seaweed stuff floating around, but no fish or nasty algae and the likes.  Visibility under water was close to zero. It was as if you were swimming in coffee. So when you have no breath in you, the water is deep, ice cold, you can't see anything that isn't one inch from your face, and you doubt your ability to actually swim the full quarter mile?  It's terribly daunting.

I'll spare you the details of that swim and just jump to the ending.... I did it. Without panic. I kept my emotions and head under control. I forced myself to stay calm.  Whenever I started feeling like I was going to freak, I said to myself "Don't freak. You're fine. You got this.  Just breathe, swim, and get the *bleep* out of here."  When I rounded that last buoy and saw the ladies standing up by the dock waiting to climb out, I just swam and swam and swam with everything I had (which is still slower than a 90 year old lady).  When I made it there, I swear I wanted to raise my fists in the air, throw my head back and shout to the heavens. But, I played it cool.  Except for the goofy grin I couldn't get off my face.

It's amazing how you can start out feeling so meek and scared and incapable and like 20 minutes later feel such pride and happiness.  I guess that's why so many ladies DO this!

So, I did my first Open Water Swim which was probably the BIGGEST thing for me in this whole "triathlon training" thing. We missed the next one due to poor water quality closing the lake, so I was back just this past Tuesday.  I was less nervous and more prepared for the shocking cold. Still, as I rode my bike up to the lake and saw it, some butterflies started up.

I did it this time with no tears.  It wasn't pretty, it wasn't fast, and it was still very cold, but I did it. Afterward, my friend Lori and I went for a 12 mile bike ride. This back-to-back workout is called a "brick" - when you pair either the swim and the bike or you do a bike then the run. The idea is to prepare yourself for what it feels like to go from one event to the other.

Half-way through the bike ride, my cell phone started ringing.  I'm mid-hill and working my ass off trying to keep up with Lori who is a phenomenal athlete (and slowing it down tremendously for me and my slowness). I know who it is before I even fumble with my phone, one-handed.

"Hi, I'm in the middle of a 12 mile bike ride," I puffed, hoping that nothing catastrophic had occurred at home.

Dr. Fabulous proceeds to tell me CB has a stinky diaper to which I respond "There's nothing I can do about it right now...everyone is just gonna have to wait."  I had 6 miles to go, the sun was setting like a giant orange globe in the sky, and everyone would just have to survive without me. No one ever died of a dirty diaper.

I finished the ride guilt free, went home and changed CB. 'Coz that's how all of us TriathaMoms roll. Dr. Fabulous DID have the other girls all ready for bed, so that was a bonus.  Plus, as always, he was proud of me.

While I'm not 100% certain I'm prepared for this triathlon, I think I've had some good life training on basic survival skills. Triathlon?  Pffft.  My LIFE is a freakin' triathlon.  Bring it!

Weekend Wrap Up: Splashing, Dashing, and Father's Day

When Tink showed interest in competing in a triathlon hosted at our swim club, I went online to register her for the Kids Splash and Dash.  Then, I saw the date and called Dr. Fabulous first.  

"Honey, it's on Father's Day morning.  That means we're getting up at 6:30 am and spending our morning at this race..."  I trailed off because I felt bad.  It was Father's Day after all. I couldn't blame a dude for wanting to sleep in (not that he ever does), play golf and chill. 

"Sign her up," he said enthusiastically.  "I can't think of a better way to spend Father's Day."

For him, Father's Day is about being a Father and spending time with family. 

(This is quite the opposite of my take on Mother's Day which is about getting away from my family for a little "me" time. ) 

So, after two weeks of daily swim team practice and time trials at 7:30 am the morning before, this little peanut woke up early Sunday morning with her game face on. 

Actually, she had no game face. She was nervous.  

"I don't want to go... I'm so tired," she said meekly, laying under her covers.  

"You know what I think? I think you're nervous. And that's okay," I told her. "It's totally normal to be nervous and when you're nervous, you feel like you don't want to do it.  But I think you'll regret it if you don't go. If you let your fears stop you, you'll stop yourself from having so many great experiences in life.  I think this will be one of them."

I blathered more and more of a pep talk and it seemed to work. 

Or, she just wanted me to shut up. 

The night prior she had asked me "What if I come in first?"

I said "I'll be incredibly proud of you."

Her eyes got big and serious and she asked "But, what if I come in last?"

I said "I'll be incredibly proud of you."

Then, she went through a handful of places that she could come in... twelfth, fifty-third, second, and so on. My answer stayed the same.

"Just stepping up and doing it. Finishing what you started - that makes you a winner.  The only way you can lose is if you never try," I reminded her. 

She liked that answer.

"And just remember, no matter how slow you go? You're always lapping the person sitting on the couch." 

But, she didn't go slow.  She was steady and solid swimming the 5 laps...

... then she rocked a short transition time (drying off, putting on shorts and sneakers, hydrating) 

...and started on the one mile run. 

 She apparently had to stop twice to tie her shoe but kept a nice pace and kicked it down the home stretch to the cheers of her family and friends. 

There were almost 60 young competitors in this particular kids race, ranging in age from 6 to 14. The large majority were older than her. Yet, Tink held her own, especially with this being her first race and her being a new swimmer. The three impressive girls who won were between 11-13 years old (Yes, the first three overall were female, the first place boy came in fourth place overall!).  

We were super proud of her, but the most important thing was that she was proud of herself. She did it for her, not us. 

Here she is all like "I'm so tired... Oh, my gosh, I'm gonna die."

Here she is all like "I don't think that was very fun. I need to take a 2 year break before I do another one..."

But shortly after she's all like "Yeah, I'll do another one. That was cool."

The whole event was super fun. We saw tons of friends and community members doing either the triathlon, duathlon or splash and dash (adult and kid version). I knew all three lovely ladies who took first, second and third place female in the triathlon event. It was an awesome way to spend the morning.  

In the afternoon, we dialed it down and had a family cook-out at my in-laws. The cousins played and swam, and the grown-ups grilled and ate. 

We did a little birthday celebration for CB and Dr. Fabulous.

Years and years ago, before the other girls came along, it was just the three of us - me, CB and Dr. Fab.

Here's the thing about Dr. Fabulous. While we were engaged, he bought us a minivan. He knew it would be filled almost to capacity within a few short years... and it was.  

He's a family man. It all begins and ends with family. 

Man, I love these guys.   

Weekend Wrap Up

This weekend we were roughin' it.  Well, I wouldn't go that far. As my babysitter said "You weren't camping... you were GLAMping."  

Tink's Brownie troop went on an overnight 'glamping' trip to a beautiful nature center in Delaware.  Fifteen girls, twelve moms.  Uncomfortable, squeaky metal bunkbeds with mattresses as thick as ritz crackers lined up in one giant room. But there were toilets, there was electricity, and there was this....

Nature. Everywhere. And it was beautiful. 

There were 2 programs, one in the evening upon our arrival and a morning program the following day.  The evening program taught the girls about noctoural animals and even showed them some snapping turtles, tarantula, vipor, and a mini alligator.  Then it was time for s'mores around a campfire and a Night Hike after the sun went down. 

The next morning (after eight seconds of sleep for the grown-ups) was another program with more cool animals and a Marsh Hike. 

The girls were allowed to catch tadpoles and slugs. One even found a mini baby snapping turtle. The camp leader found us a newt.  You know, even with the stinging nettles, poison ivy and ticks, I have to say - nature ROCKS.  

*****************

We also celebrated a birthday this weekend!!! 

CB is now 19. 

The birthday itself was rather subdued.  Except for a candle on top of dessert, the singing of the Happy Birthday song (her favorite), and a few small gifts, it was... I don't know... quiet.  

Which is my nice way of saying lame.  

I feared it was lame.  She asks for nothing, she wants nothing, she doesn't even seem to understand what a birthday is.  So, the birthday thing doesn't go the way it does with her sisters and that never really sits right with me. I feel like I need to be doing something more.  Like, I didn't do enough. I gypped her. I cheated her. 

It wasn't enough.

Of course, that is just part of being her Mom.  Living with the guilt of wishing you had done something more, been someone better.  The birthday just takes those feelings out from where you shoved them and parades them through the confetti and sprinkles. 

But even when that empty pit turns my stomach, I see her happy and think for a fleeting moment... maybe it was all enough.  Maybe it still is. 

Maybe.