I Have Bad Shower Kharma

Two weeks after my 4th daughter was born, I went to my OBGYN because I thought I had popped a stitch. I limped into the room, apologizing to her because I had wanted to shower given that I was going to have company "down there" but it wasn't meant to be. I said "I haven't been able to get into the shower in 5 days." I remember her response; a question asked with a perplexed look on her face and a dash of sarcasm and disbelief "And, why can't you shower?" Um, gee, spend some time in my house for a week, and you'll see why. You won't be surprised to learn that my doc does not have any children and thus no point of reference for the challenges of daily bathing.

I thought of her today, as my attempt at showering once again was thwarted. I have a social engagement tonight which always necessitates some type of shampoo, soap and perhaps even leg shaving. Two children were in school/preschool today, one was mesmerized with her favorite TV program and the baby was napping. Great time to hop in the shower. Silly me. Of course, no one bothered me while I was cleaning, paying bills, cooking lunch, or other various household tasks. But, the minute I wanted to actually take a moment to myself? Alarms go off... Oh, No! Mom is doing something selfish! Send out an APB! This act must be stopped!!

As soon as I stepped into my hot cascade of water and drenched myself head to toe I heard yelling and crying. It's my 3 year old coming up the stairs. Maybe if I ignore her... then she's banging on the bathroom door. I jump out soaking wet to find that she has peed all over herself and each one of the 17 steps that lead to the second floor. This is insane because she's been toilet trained, day and night, since she was 27 months old. Her cries wake up the napping baby. I hear the water in my sanctuary pouring down the drain, along with the hopes of a shower. No time for frivolous rituals, time alone, or a "good hair" day. There are stairs to clean, a child to bathe, and a baby to attend.