Still Waters Run... Deep? Ramblings of An Atrophied Mind

It's weird that the foods I love the most, I seldom eat. I love anchovies on my pizza, but because no other human being shares this love, I never order it. Why do they even offer it as a topping? Of the hundreds of thousands of people I have crossed paths with in my 40 years of life, I'm only aware of like 2 others who enjoy a pizza with anchovies. Aren't the pizzerias kinda losing money on keeping this in their pantry? Do they just have the one can of anchovies lying around and if I DO order it, I end up getting hairy fish circa 1957? Thinking about it now, I like a lot of weird things... gefilte fish with horseradish, capers, and sauerkraut plain, right out of the can. I also like most all Italian food better the next day when it's cold.

Another food I love that I rarely eat are avocados. They are so delicious, but not that versatile. Guacamole is the primary way I see this precious vegetable presented... wait, or is it a fruit? It has a pit. I think a pit means it's a fruit. Green beans and potatoes don't have pits, but peaches and plums do. It's settled, it's a fruit and a damn good one. Why aren't there more ways to prepare and enjoy an avocado? My fav. is making an avocado and cream cheese sandwich. It's quite tasty. What else can you do? I'm drawing a blank.

Caviar. Seriously. I don't just love it because it's expensive. I really honestly love it. I guess the expense precludes me from daily indulgence. Same with lobster and cashews... plus they are fattening. I guess it's the "good fat," but when you're trying to squeeze back into your pre-baby jeans, fat is fat, good or bad. Darn, avocados are fattening too.

So, anyone out there have a recipe for an anchovy, avocado, caviar, lobster and cashew dish? With a side of gefilte fish, capers and sauerkraut, please. Oh, and, can I have a glass of expensive champagne to wash it all down with too?

P.S. No, I'm not knocked up.