I wrote this post yesterday, the day it actually occurred, which was also Pink's first day of school - HER "going to Kindergarten" post trumped this one. So, I'm posting it today... when I'm not as pissed but still kinda pissed...
Bad things come in threes. So, this should be it, right? Less than 2 weeks ago, I was driving my car through a downtown little street near my neighborhood to meet up with my husband and kids at a coffee shop. Suddenly, BOOM... I didn't even know what happened, but come to find out I hit some guy's car door when he opened it up into traffic(and I didn't see it) as I was driving by. He was parallell parked on the side of the road (the road was narrow and his truck was a big ass Yukon thing). Anyway, he had a little dent of like $200 in damage. Meanwhile the entire side of my car was ripped to shreds. And the rear view mirror knocked off.
Exhibit A. You can see my super pissed off reflection in the car. This doesn't show the rear view mirror smashed off and damage to the front fender either. It's sweet.
So upset I was that my first inclination was to admit full guilt and apologize profusely to the guy. We'll call him DICK because though his name wasn't Richard, I think this is fitting. Dick was all casual like "don't worry about it. I gotta run in and get a pizza. (Pizza???? Whaaa?) Here's my card, just meet me at my house later and we'll figure out what to do." Since I thought it was all my fault, I was just grateful he was being so nice. Meanwhile, neither of us realized really that I had over $1,200 in damages to MY car, PLUS it was NOT MY FAULT. We never called the police, exchanged insurance info, filled a report. Just walked away. Only a few hours later, my husband calls this guy and says maybe we should file the police report and go through insurance and this guy becomes a total scum bag. Making up crap... saying I swerved into him... whatever. Such a long story. It could end well for us, it could end badly. It could end in legal fees. Such a headache. So this saga has been droning on for 9 days...
Then today, 9 days after the aforementioned accident, I back out of parking in front of this stupid stone store where we were picking out our stupid fireplace stone for the stupid new house we're building that will be the STUPID FREAKIN DEATH OF US because we're so FREAKIN money conscious (or, um, obsessed?) right now and BAM!!! I hit ANOTHER stupid, dumb, MF'er car parked illegally BEHIND ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I didn't bump it nicely. I SMASHED into it as if I didn't even see it there. Because, I DIDN'T, ya know, SEE it there. Sometimes it helps to look behind you when you back out, in case you're curious. In my idiotic defense, it was 1:30, all the kids were in the car, no one had eaten since breakfast, we were in that stinkin' store for an HOUR (total kid nightmare) and I had a 30 minute ride home with hungry whiny children and I was hungry and whiny (and had to pee) as well and was rushing to be sure I'd be home in time to get CB off of the bus. And now... I hit ANOTHER car. In front of my husband. And, lets just say he wasn't fully recovered from the accident NINE DAYS PRIOR.
Lighting wouldn't just strike me twice, it would strike me 100 times.
What. Can. I. Say. I think my husband is seriously going to divorce me. I bring nothing to the table. No income. No cooking skills. Sucky housewife. Not stable in the personality department. Not a stellar Mom. And, I really don't "put out" either (though when I DO I like to think I'm pretty good). Mainly because I'm tired and never shave my legs. God I am AWFUL. I just go around warping his kids minds and crashing cars and racking up the bills.
UGH! FREAKING UGH!!
Now, THIS accident I'm pretty sure is my fault. Plus now I have 2 accidents on file. Insurance is definitely going up. And, we live in Jersey - the world's most expensive car insurance in general even with a stellar record. Oh, and there will be a second deductible of a grand. Yes, our deductible is $1,000 bucks. Awesome. Oh, and did I mention the car is only a year old? Yeah, nice minivan too, as far as minivans go. Loaded Honda Odyssey. Totally held together with duct tape now.
Oh, and the third thing happened the night before accident number 2. Pink decided she wanted to take the hot dogs out of the microwave on her own (without my permission or knowledge) and yanked too hard in the wrong direction on the handle of the microwave and
broke the handle clean off.
Yes, it's an ancient, crappy little microwave. But IT'S NOT OURS. I remind you we're in a rental house now. So, we gotta replace the landlord's microwave too. In addition to the 2 car accidents.
And yes, I served hot dogs for dinner. Judge away.
Have I whined and complained enough yet? Of course I have. It's just venting. I know there are worse things that can happen. CB's recent noctournal seizure that knocked her out of bed and left a huge hemotoma on her shoulder and a bruised eye remind me that people are more important than things. I'll be fine tomorrow...
But first, more venting.
Did I mention the coup de gras? Nothing tops a bad day like this: When the 3 little girls were in the bath tonight - juuuuust getting ready to come out- my 21 month old SHAAT in the tub. Is that the past tense of .... pooping? Can I say that on TV?
Oh, and after a day like this, I go to open a bottle of fine wine and low and behold I can't find the stinkin' $50.00 bottle opener we got for Christmas and I remember that I left it at our vacation house. I have no wine opener and it's 9:30 pm and I NEED WINE.
And it is this last little thing that makes me break down and weep.
So, I made tea instead. Not the same people. Not. The. Same.
So, in summary: Day. Not good. Week: not so hot either.