Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Bad Things Come In Threes (or Why My Husband Will Surely Divorce Me Any Minute OR Why Someone Should Revoke My Driver's License)

I wrote this post yesterday, the day it actually occurred, which was also Pink's first day of school - HER "going to Kindergarten" post trumped this one. So, I'm posting it today... when I'm not as pissed but still kinda pissed...

Bad things come in threes. So, this should be it, right? Less than 2 weeks ago, I was driving my car through a downtown little street near my neighborhood to meet up with my husband and kids at a coffee shop. Suddenly, BOOM... I didn't even know what happened, but come to find out I hit some guy's car door when he opened it up into traffic(and I didn't see it) as I was driving by. He was parallell parked on the side of the road (the road was narrow and his truck was a big ass Yukon thing). Anyway, he had a little dent of like $200 in damage. Meanwhile the entire side of my car was ripped to shreds. And the rear view mirror knocked off.

Exhibit A. You can see my super pissed off reflection in the car. This doesn't show the rear view mirror smashed off and damage to the front fender either. It's sweet.

So upset I was that my first inclination was to admit full guilt and apologize profusely to the guy. We'll call him DICK because though his name wasn't Richard, I think this is fitting. Dick was all casual like "don't worry about it. I gotta run in and get a pizza. (Pizza???? Whaaa?) Here's my card, just meet me at my house later and we'll figure out what to do." Since I thought it was all my fault, I was just grateful he was being so nice. Meanwhile, neither of us realized really that I had over $1,200 in damages to MY car, PLUS it was NOT MY FAULT. We never called the police, exchanged insurance info, filled a report. Just walked away. Only a few hours later, my husband calls this guy and says maybe we should file the police report and go through insurance and this guy becomes a total scum bag. Making up crap... saying I swerved into him... whatever. Such a long story. It could end well for us, it could end badly. It could end in legal fees. Such a headache. So this saga has been droning on for 9 days...

Then today, 9 days after the aforementioned accident, I back out of parking in front of this stupid stone store where we were picking out our stupid fireplace stone for the stupid new house we're building that will be the STUPID FREAKIN DEATH OF US because we're so FREAKIN money conscious (or, um, obsessed?) right now and BAM!!! I hit ANOTHER stupid, dumb, MF'er car parked illegally BEHIND ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I didn't bump it nicely. I SMASHED into it as if I didn't even see it there. Because, I DIDN'T, ya know, SEE it there. Sometimes it helps to look behind you when you back out, in case you're curious. In my idiotic defense, it was 1:30, all the kids were in the car, no one had eaten since breakfast, we were in that stinkin' store for an HOUR (total kid nightmare) and I had a 30 minute ride home with hungry whiny children and I was hungry and whiny (and had to pee) as well and was rushing to be sure I'd be home in time to get CB off of the bus. And now... I hit ANOTHER car. In front of my husband. And, lets just say he wasn't fully recovered from the accident NINE DAYS PRIOR.

Lighting wouldn't just strike me twice, it would strike me 100 times.

What. Can. I. Say. I think my husband is seriously going to divorce me. I bring nothing to the table. No income. No cooking skills. Sucky housewife. Not stable in the personality department. Not a stellar Mom. And, I really don't "put out" either (though when I DO I like to think I'm pretty good). Mainly because I'm tired and never shave my legs. God I am AWFUL. I just go around warping his kids minds and crashing cars and racking up the bills.

Now, THIS accident I'm pretty sure is my fault. Plus now I have 2 accidents on file. Insurance is definitely going up. And, we live in Jersey - the world's most expensive car insurance in general even with a stellar record. Oh, and there will be a second deductible of a grand. Yes, our deductible is $1,000 bucks. Awesome. Oh, and did I mention the car is only a year old? Yeah, nice minivan too, as far as minivans go. Loaded Honda Odyssey. Totally held together with duct tape now.

Oh, and the third thing happened the night before accident number 2. Pink decided she wanted to take the hot dogs out of the microwave on her own (without my permission or knowledge) and yanked too hard in the wrong direction on the handle of the microwave and

broke the handle clean off.

Yes, it's an ancient, crappy little microwave. But IT'S NOT OURS. I remind you we're in a rental house now. So, we gotta replace the landlord's microwave too. In addition to the 2 car accidents.

And yes, I served hot dogs for dinner. Judge away.

Have I whined and complained enough yet? Of course I have. It's just venting. I know there are worse things that can happen. CB's recent noctournal seizure that knocked her out of bed and left a huge hemotoma on her shoulder and a bruised eye remind me that people are more important than things. I'll be fine tomorrow...

But first, more venting.

Did I mention the coup de gras? Nothing tops a bad day like this: When the 3 little girls were in the bath tonight - juuuuust getting ready to come out- my 21 month old SHAAT in the tub. Is that the past tense of .... pooping? Can I say that on TV?

Oh, and after a day like this, I go to open a bottle of fine wine and low and behold I can't find the stinkin' $50.00 bottle opener we got for Christmas and I remember that I left it at our vacation house. I have no wine opener and it's 9:30 pm and I NEED WINE.

And it is this last little thing that makes me break down and weep.

So, I made tea instead. Not the same people. Not. The. Same.

So, in summary: Day. Not good. Week: not so hot either.


Elizabeth said...

I admit -- that was a suckin' day or should I say nine days? Really. There's no doubting or belittling that. Like I always say when people say, "It could have been worse." "It could have been a whole lot f'ing better, too!"

Sorry to hear it (even though you do tell a fine, funny story for what that's worth!). I hope your weeks go better...

Queenbuv3 said...

So sorry. I am getting nervous because I am car accident prone and life drama prone myself and you are the second mom to blog this week about horrible weeks from hell happening to them. We have weeks and months like this. I hope it isn't contagious!

I really hope you get your car all fixed up, avoid any major insurance or legal wrangling and have some good luck come your way. As crappy as this kinda stuff is when it happens there is a reason for it. I know, it's hard to see any positives right now but they're in there!

Venting is good and probably a lot healthier than a bottle of wine (no judgment, we all need a little ice cream or wine or stupid virtual farming games (me, so addicted) to ease the pain of our crazy lives sometimes) Hang in there! This too shall pass : )

Michelle said...

OH MY!!! Well, I know hindsight's 20/20, but you should ALWAYS file a report and exchange info. My parents found this out the hard way a couple of years ago.
I don't know why you don't drop the kids off when you're doing something house-related. It's SO not worth it - bringing them with you. And I LOVE your girls.
I wish I could think of something constructive to say, but I can't. You're definitely in a sucky rut at the moment. But, things will turn around soon. Oh, and as far as "bringing things to the table," you ARE a stellar mom and I KNOW hubby would say you're an AWESOME wife too - even outside of the bedroom - YOU GO GIRL!!! :)

michelle said...

Oh yeah. I've had days like that. Usually in the throws of hormones and stress. I bashed into some asshole in a pick-up a few years ago when I was coming back from the county fair and Mia was having a tantrum in the back and my head was pounding. This meathead decided to lecture me on how I should be more careful with the kids in the car. BIG MISTAKE on his part. Guy got blind-sided by the wrath of michelle.

Went home, got my period, and felt better.

By some miracle, never had to deal with poop in the tub.

That's the perk of dirty kids.

And tea is most certainly not a replacement for a glass of wine. Bummer

Corrie Howe said...

I agree, lots of really bad things happened at once. I can relate to how you feel...I often feel like I'm causing us to spend more money. It is hard if one worked before kids to feel like what we do is worth more than money...especially when we are costing money. (I've had a couple accidents myself. I know I was at fault because I used to be a claims adjuster prior to marriage.)

Hopefully, your husband will be like mine and shrug it off as unfortunate didn't intend them. And you are carrying so much on your plate, it is easy to see why you might be distracted and not seeing the whole picture. He'll just be happy that it wasn't you were injured.

My husband and I have an agreement. Whoever mentions the word "divorce" is the one who keeps the kids. Since neither one of us wants to raise them by ourselves, our plan has been working so far.

My prayers are with you.

Tanya @ TeenAutism said...

Oh, honey, you deserve a *case* of wine! (I need my wine too, especially by 9:30 at night!)

hellokittiemama said...

ugh! I felt your pain as I read this. I'm in Jersey too, not sure how far away but I have a bottle opener and ready to share a much needed bottle SOON.

Says the girl that slipped and fell in the school auditorium as I left the SEPTA board meeting - of which I am the secretary of.


Then came home to a slip and fall in my kitchen - my husband washed the dishes because our dishwasher is broken... and flooded the floor.


I have a bottle opener, but no wine here.

tiffrutherf said...

what the....oh this has not been your week BUT it will get better, seriously, could it get worse?

Beth L. Gainer said...

WOW. The last nine days or so were really bad, but I don't need to tell you that. It's good that you vented, and no one should judge you for the accidents or the hot dogs or the microwave.

The good thing, as you know and said, is that people are more important than things. However, it still sucks when things happen to things you value.

The a-hole who had his door open when you hit it is, well, an a-hole.

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