Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Putting Off Til Tomorrow All The Crap I Don't Feel Like Dealing With Today

Ah, the proverbial back burner. How many things have I put back there? Mostly, the things that have to do with my own personal needs and desires. Minus the blogging, of course. Without blogging, there would be no sanity. And, without sanity, there can be no Mommy or Wife.

So what is on the back burner? It's really gotten quite crowded lately. Usually it's like dying my gray, keeping up friendships, showering, cleaning, organizing. Now, it's getting a bit out of hand. I think I need a serious intervention. Now HEALTH issues are going on the back burner.

I have been suffering from sudden onset vertigo for about 3 months now. It's sometimes accompanied often by unexplained nausea. And no, I'm not pregnant (quite positive on this). Now, it's probably all related to that stupid middle ear infection and ear drum rupture I had many months ago. Who knows. But, will I get myself to a doctor? No. No, I won't. I just can't be bothered. But, I made a big step and self-diagnosed over the Internet which was great because it's likely either labyrythitis or some inner ear virus. Both will likely remit on their own and are annoying but benign. Of course, there's a small chance I could develop meningitis or this could be a heart problem or brain tumor... but hey, those are some slim odds. I'm not dragging myself in to see Dr. DB with 3 kids and paying a stupid co-pay just for rule THAT out.

That's just me. I've always been remiss at taking care of myself. But then again, I'm a very healthy person with no allergies, G.I. issues, headaches/migraines or other lovely things that seem to plague most people I know. But lately I have been borderline malaise. Like this vertigo started up over the summer, then within a few weeks I get a U.T.I., then pink eye and now I'm like super duper tired like beyond normal tired... it's like I'm fighting off some low grade virus. But will I ever just go to the doctor and check it out? Oh no, of course not. No time. No energy. And, if it's just something stupid and benign, what's the point?

I know what you're thinking. Go to the stinkin' doctor. Yeah, yeah....

Now here's a different issue but goes along the same lines of "should I or shouldn't I" go see the doctor. Except this is for baby Rella. I had this referral for Early Intervention from my pediatrician months ago and even made an appointment which I later cancelled. It's like, she's an enigma. She isn't so great with the talking, but she talks sorta enough... though most of it is almost indecipherable to anyone but me and my husband. I mean, she definitely gets her point across just fine, it's just not good as the other kids her age. Receptively, she's totally on the money though. It's like, she's behind the normal curve a bit, but not obnoxiously so. So, should I be worried? Not worried? I don't know!

Then there is the whole issue that she doesn't eat ANYTHING... oh, and I don't mean picky eating. Pink was (and still is) a picky eater. I mean, this is what she eats: Pasta with red sauce, bread with butter, pretzels, yogurt or ice cream, some crackery type snack food, candy. Period. I'm not omitting anything. That is IT. Now there are a handful of other things she may eat 1 out of 10 times. Or, she'll eat something for weeks (like cheese) and then never touch it again. Some days, she'll go without eating more than 2 tiny pretzels all day for no reason. She just wants to drink milk - vats and vats of milk until I'm afraid she's going to vomit pure white. It's almost repulsive how much she's rather drink than eat sometimes. And I think about how she barfed a lot when she was a baby. She'll still do it randomly now... like spit up or whatever. Is this important? Silly? I don't feel like making her undergo tests for no reason, you know? But, I just remember how I was so naive with CB and didn't realize certain signs were significant. I just kick myself for not being more proactive with CB in the early years and here I am again, sitting here suffering from meningitis possibly ignoring signs and symptoms of something bigger so as to not feel and sound like an overly neurotic and dramatizing mom...

Oh, and she's totally pigeoned toed and bow legged too. If you see her run it's like amazing that she's not falling over, but she's not. The pediatrician said to wait until she was 2 before seeing the orthopedist. That's in about 6 weeks. These little suckers better straighten out soon. I'm totally not in the mood for more specialist. Haven't I made my quota already in CB's lifetime? So, it's like all this little silly stuff that perhaps I should be paying attention to, but it's all so silly and dumb.

Like, the 3 little ones have had "milesca" for like 2 years (a skin condition in the wart family that I'm sure I didn't spell properly) and will I ever bring them to the stinkin' dermatologist to get them frozen off or whatever???? Um, no. The answer is no. Even though they are spreading all over their own bodies and they're giving them to each other. I mean, I'm the person that sat there while Tink had pillow batting shoved up her nose for 7 months wondering why she had such rank, foul, disgusting BREATH every day. Finally, when we couldn't take it anymore and I have morbid fantasies about her having a sinus tumor or something, turns out she had cotton batting shoved up her nose. Problem solved. No disaster. It's just like... why don't I take care of the little things right away? I just let them sit on the back burner. Until they are ready to boil over...

3 comments:

Corrie Howe said...

I hear you! Faith has milesca. The dermatologist used Japanese beetle juice for about a year and then gave up. He said it will run it's course and eventually go away.

Nancy Campbell said...

Sometimes it's paralyzing to do things. I understand. It took me four years to change the battery in my watch, and that's just the tip of the iceberg.

Keep taking care of your soul, giving yourself time to rest (and blog!) when you can, so you can have the energy to tackle these things, one at a time.

Then, tell me how to do it once you figure it all out.

Sending good thoughts...

Beth L. Gainer said...

Well, I'm sure you know my response: get thee and your little ones to a doctor. That's just my advice, as I and doctors go way back -- as you know from my Calling the Shots blog-column.

I would play it safe and see the doctor. Even the most benign stuff can get worse without medical intervention.

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