So, my brother-in-law is getting married this weekend and to my shock I had been asked to be in the wedding party. I only say "shock" because I was quite certain I was of "Advanced Maternal Bridesmaid Age" for the dream wedding of a 25 year old girl... I mean woman... Girl-woman. Anyway, I am the oldest one in the wedding by 15.5 years. I could be someone's teen mother. It's humbling. Yet, through the humility, I am above all honored and full of joy to participate in such a wonderful day! I love my husband's family, my soon-to-be-sister-in-law is a DOLL and my brother-in-law and I have a very close friendship that goes back many years.
So, back to me because that is basically what my blog is all about - ME.
So, it's less than 24 hours until Wedding Day. Have I spray-tanned so I'm not Casper the Old Ass Ghost? Nope. Have I indulged in a Mani/Pedi? Um, Negative again. In fact, my nails are all broken down to the quick. And I have my period. Not sure how those things are related. Have I dyed my stupid gray roots? I gotta get on this tonight. She'll be lucky if I shave my pits and shower at this point.
I got my Spanx though. I knowz what's important here. I don't think I'll be able to eat at the wedding though. Somehow, I also forgot to diet to lose those pesky 5 pounds. So the dress I was so proud that I fit into this summer now might pop a dang stitch mid-fiesta. That's okay, because I'm quite certain I'll be the trashed Bridesmaid that everyone laughs at the next day.
Ahhhh, free booze....
Sorry, I was in my happy place for a moment.
Little did my future sister-in-law know, I don't make a very good Bridesmaid.
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12 comments:
Oh, but you'll be fun. That's what they remember, anyway. The fun.
Oh my -- I don't envy you at all. Good luck, have fun, don't fall down.
Have fun! Don't drink (too much) until after the ceremony.
I learned that one the hard way at my BFF's wedding. Made a complete ass out of myself. I was wearing jeans and a ratty sweater during the reception, too. Klassy.
Have fun...party like a rock star just don't puke in public.. you'll never live that down.
I think you are silly. You look gorgeous in all the pictures I've seen of you and I have no doubt that you will be a beautiful bridesmaid. Have lots of fun!
Oh, Alicia!! You are like a size 0.5 -- and look at least 15 years younger than your age! I doubt you have anything to worry about. We'll all be the envious ones as we watch you walk down the aisle! (You did make me laugh, though)
Hope the wedding is a blast! And dont have your cocktail in all the pics..then there is no proof and memories of drunkenness fade with time. haha.
I hope you have a wonderful time. Your post made me giggle. But remember - if you worry about what you call those "pesky 5 pounds" you won't be able to enjoy yourself to the fullest. I bet you look amazing - and I do mean after your pits are shaved, your roots are dyed, and your spray tan is applied. :) Just kidding. You're going to be a beautiful bridesmaid.
I love the fact that you could be a mother of a teenager. Aren't you a mother of a teenager? ;-).
And I can totally relate to all that you listed AND having a visit from Aunt Flo. The story of my life. When you think it can't be any worse, oh by the way, I'm also on my period.
I know you're going to tell us you had a wonderful time, right?
Awesome that you were able to hone in on the fact that it was an honor to be asked, and be there for the lucky couple...
What fun! It is crazy how much time we spend worrying about how we look (I am not criticizing, I am empathizing) even when we know better. It is also odd to me how when things are really dark I know what is important...family, people. But then less than strong arms bug the #$%% out of me when I wear my very cool new sleeveless dress. ARGH. I can't wait to read about the wedding! And, PS, I have been gone and finally back on line and writing again! So glad to catch up!
Oh Spanx rock, they make me go from being morbidly obese to just fat..
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