I apologize for not posting for a week. It's amazing how fast the days go and it scarcely seems a full week has gone by since I ran Broad Street. Amazingly, I ran 10-miles without any physical injury but then hurt both my knees by incorrectly riding the stationary bike at my gym for 40 minutes. I didn't know how to properly adjust my seat and I was too embarrassed about it to stop and switch equipment. I swear, I'm such a dork like that.
Last week was "Mommy busy." Mommy -busy is not rocket science, highly technical stuff. Mommy-busy involves lots of activities to benefit the kids which is a Mommy's main job, of course. Pink has been enjoying lots of fun through her Girls On The Glow group to include a "Mommy and Me" run at the track and a "make your own homemade pasta" mother-daughter night.
This was the first Mother's Day weekend in many years that I unfortunately didn't have lunch or tea with my mom the Saturday before. The good news is that she took Pink and Tink out for a sleep over on Friday night and then to a matinee at the children's theatre Saturday afternoon so I was able to see her briefly when she dropped them off on our way to a great party for one of our friends. With CB in Maryland visiting her dad and the two middle ones with their Grandma, Rella had "only child" time with us and she milked every moment of it. Though, she did become quite tearful at bedtime missing her three big sisters.
We spent Mother's Day Sunday in northern Jersey with family which was relaxing - to everyone except my mother in law who cooked and entertained. Bless her heart... she is a truly selfless woman.
Selflessness. Motherhood is the perfect blend of exquisite joy and fulfillment with tremendous work and sacrifice. The thing that makes motherhood so hard is the same thing that makes it so uniquely rewarding: It requires a heavy dose of selflessness. I mean, true, complete selflessness. Living for someone else (or multiple someone elses). Putting yourself second but with joy, not resentment. Wanting another's happiness, health and well-being before your own.
I remember seeing a book in Barnes and Noble entitled "I Was A Perfect Mother... Before I Had Children" and thinking about it makes me snicker because that was ME. I was the world's best mother in my own mind, but fantasy motherhood and real motherhood are two entirely different beasts.
Motherhood, in its true form, is much more than one can imagine. It is not the romanticized version I had in my head. It is much more exhausting, consuming, taxing and far more amazing. It is also the single-most humbling experience I've ever had... remembering my judgemental "pre-parenthood" days where I thought I had everything figured out only to be taught by my 4 little girls that I didn't know jack. And, I have embraced that. I guess all I really needed to navigate the waters of motherhood was love and I let that be my guide when I didn't know what I was doing.
After 17 years of motherhood I still don't have all the answers and I'm far from perfect. But the cool thing is that I don't need to be. My imperfection makes me a damn good mom as does my openness to learning and growing WITH my girls. As I teach my children, they teach me. We learn in tandem. It's a joy to be their mom. The four of them are the best thing I've ever done.
The one who teaches me the most of all, is the one who doesn't say a word. Life's greatest lessons can often come from listening to that which others may not hear.
Man, I'm getting deep.
Oh, P.S. - I got an amazing mother's day gift ... if you are into material things which I am SOOOO not which is why I was SOOOO NOT excited by this gift at ALL...
The necklace AND this Canon Rebel (along with an awesome bundle to include a kick butt telephoto lens) were my Mother's Day gifts. Not that I've been talkin' about wanting this camera for approximately 1,000 years or anything...
Yes, I'm spoiled rotten.
In more ways than one.