tHERsDay: Prom Dress Shopping

Prom Dress Shopping with my daughter. Typically atypical, as usual. That's what makes my life the greatest life I could imagine. Because it's not what I ever imagined. I've always loved surprise endings and plot twists.

In preparation for their big Prom in a few weeks, CB's school offered gently used, generously donated dresses and a space to "shop" with parents to avoid the stressors of regular department stores, crowds, and unenlightened sales people. It's also easy on the wallet as the only expense involved is cost of alterations and cleaning.

Not what I pictured dress shopping with my teenage daughter would be. As you can see, a few smaller sized dresses hung on the shower bar of the little bathroom.



The A.D.L. room (for those not in the know, that is the room to practice Daily Living Skills) had racks of clothes, coffee and cake for the Moms, wonderful and happy staff helping out and an energy so positive, you could feel the air vibrating against your skin.

Not what I pictured, but when CB was brought from her class into the room to find me there, I got one of the biggest hugs and smiles I've received from her in a long time. And when she hugs me like that, I never let go first.

Someone once told me "She would have been so pretty." They were mistaken. She already is.






She was getting really pissy by the fourth dress. Getting dressed is not her thing. She wanted to go home. Some of the cubicle walls went flying. But she hung in there, glowing despite herself in gown after gown.





Though the girl looked gorgeous in everything, all 5 foot 3 and 85 pounds of her, we settled on a pale pink 2-piece, simple number that reminded me of old Hollywood meets hip teen. There was something fragile about her in it. Something innocent and vulnerable. Like an infant's first smile. A lily freshly bloomed. A heart undefended. Plus, it was the only one that didn't need alterations. Man, she is tiny!

My lovely girl.


Fear not: On the night of the prom we'll forgo the black socks and hair scrunchy. The hand stims will stay though. You can dress her up, but you can't stop the hands from flappin'.

Not what I thought it would be. But just as good. Just as beautiful.

Silly Band Fever Is Giving Me A Headache

I'm having an existential crisis stemming from the Silly Band craze. I'm over at NJ Moms Blog processing it. If you have no clue what Silly Bands are, no matter. You can learn all about it over there. And fear not; this post is more about my beloved Pink and her precious heart and how the world is going to crush her... and how on earth do I keep her generous, caring spirit alive while teaching her not to be taken advantage of and manipulated than it is a silly band rant. It all came to a head when she was weazled out of over 20 brand new silly bands on the bus Monday morning... READ MORE HERE

Great Grandparents And A Love-Hate With Pancakes On A Sunday Afternoon

My grandparents last Christmas with 9 of their 13 great-grandchildren.

I am very fortunate that at 41 years old, all 4 of my grandparents are living. In fact, CB is soon to be 15 and she has 6 great-grandparents still in her life. I wish she realized this because it is surely an anomaly of the most fortunate kind.

All of my grandparents are in their 90s. My oldest is 96 and he is not in good health, physically or cognitively. He really started to decline about 2 years ago, but up until then he was pretty "with it" and living with my grandmother in their very ritzy assisted living apartment. For about 2 years he has been battling some dementia, many physical ailments and is full time in the hospital wing of the nursing home. It is depressing. I hate to visit him there. He doesn't look or act the same. I'm relatively sure he's confused as to who I am, and I'm quite positive he has no recollection of my children.

Did I mention I hate seeing him there? He's not really my grandfather anymore and I don't like the shell that stares back at me. I'm a horrible person, I know.

My grandmother, however, is falling apart physically but still managing just fine in her assisted living apartment. Depressed, visually impaired, and recovering from hip surgery, her mind is sharp as a tack, as is her wit and conversation. I love her. Spending time with her is a gift.

My grandmother is really cool and always there for me. When we talk on the phone, my husband will ask me which friend I was talking to because we'll be laughing for an hour and he's shocked to find out it wasn't a peer, but my 91 year old grandma. She never says goodbye when she gets off the phone. At most she'll say "Right-O" and then you hear the dial tone.

Oh, were we finished?...'kay... um... bye to you too...

So, we spent Sunday with her. All 6 of us. We try to visit about every month which isn't nearly enough but it's difficult as she resides in another state and life gets busy for us while her days blend together sitting alone.

Like most Grandmas, she's a quirky one. I'm not sure if it was pre-morbid quirkiness or a factor of old age.

Upon arriving we must go directly to the old folks dining hall because all she has in her fridge are the blueberries she requested I bring, diet pepsi and a few condiments. The food in the dining room is bordering on unpalatable. Think diabetics with dentures, a myriad of medical issues, and hyper-sensitive to all seasonings. And I say this knowing full well that I will be one of them in about 30-40 years, so I'm really just making fun of my future self. In a further twist of bizarreness, all men must wear a tie in the 'formal dining room' which seems a bit dressy for the what is being passed off as cuisine. But it's nice.

So, after corralling our brood of 6 we order our brunch. I need to read the entire menu to my Grandmother twice due to her vision problems and listen to her grumble for about 7 minutes about why there isn't chipped beef and gravy because they have it every Sunday. Ironically, I'm bummed right there with her because disgustingly enough, chipped beef and gravy is CB's favorite meal which she is all but deprived of since I cannot stand the smell of it.

We all get the Omelet Station buffet because it seems the lesser of the evils. My grandmother gets pancakes, eggs and sausage.

The food arrives.

Grandma: "Who wants a pancake. I can't eat all these pancakes. They always give so much food here. I can't eat it all. Who wants one of my pancakes?"

She puts an overemphasis on the PAN in pancake because she has always had an odd inflexion pattern when speaking. I think it's a rural Pennsylvanian thing.

Me: No thanks, Grandma. Girls?

They all answer no thank you.

Me: We made pancakes for breakfast this morning.

Grandma: Well there are just too many pancakes here. Are you sure no one wants a pancake? Pink... do you want a pancake? Tink, do you want a pancake? Rella? Do you think CB wants my pancake?I really don't think I can EAT both of these pancakes!

Holy perseveration.

Well I'll just put this pancake right here on this plate because I can't eat this much food. They always give you too much food here. I can never finish it!

There isn't even enough food on that plate to satisfy my left buttock.

Lots of fumbling to get the pancake on her plate.

Me: Gram, do you need help?

Grandma: No no, I've got the pancake.

If I hear the word pancake one more time...

When you hit your 80th birthday, is it a senior citizen requirement to repeat one word over and over? Some secret code for something?

My husband returns from the buffet.

Grandma: Dr. Fabulous (name changed to protect the innocent) would YOU like this pancake? I can't eat all these pancakes.

We're seriously never going to stop talking about this pancake are we? I'm tempted to just reach over and shove it in my mouth to end the conversation, but I'm all pancaked out from breakfast... and I'm rather curious at how long this conversation is going to last before it fizzles...

Husband: No, that's okay Gram.

Grandma: Well I can't eat this pancake if you'd like it, it's right here.

I feel like I'm on Pee Wees Playhouse and the secret word of the day is "Pancake" only I can't scream every time she says it.

Though I want to.

Kids converse for a few minutes as we cut up their food.

I think it's over.

Grandma: Well they didn't give me syrup for this pancake. Oh Miss (calling to nearby wait staff). I didn't get any syrup for this pancake. This pancake... there's no syrup for it. I can't eat my pancake without syrup.

I'm stifling laughter. I might just pee myself.

The waitress returns.

Grandma: Ah! Now I can eat my pancake.

Thank Goodness the pancake debacle has come to its conclusion.

Grandma: Does anyone want one of my sausages?

Weekend Wrap Up

A full and busy weekend for the family, starting off with 9:30 am Soccer Practice and straight to a local Street Fair



Complete with meeting a Princess Belle at a beautiful antique doll shop


and a tour through the firehouse.


And ending the day with a trip to Pennsylvania to visit my Dad on his birthday.


Yum... Key Lime pie.

We spent Sunday out at my grandmother's in PA which will continue on tomorrow's blog...

tHERsDay

Thursday's HER Day. For all the pictures where she's left out. For all the vacations and parties where she is not present. I'm giving her a little weekly press. Just because it's Thursday.
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Favorite Snack After School... And All Stressed Out About The Loud Sisters.

Picture Your World: End Up In St. Thomas

Café Press and iVillage.com are promoting a contest called Picture Your World. It's easy to enter and the grand prize is a 5 day/4 night "eco vacation" at St. Thomas USVI! Man, I could use THAT!

Everyone who enters gets a really cute, free fabric eco tote. It's a special edition designed by Studio One, made out of plastic bottles spun into polyester and retailing for $10. (Psssst, you don't even have to enter the contest to get the free eco tote... you can get one just free just because!)

To enter the contest, tell iVillage and Cafe Press "Why on earth are you saving the planet?" Simply provide a photo depicting why you are going green, explain "why" in a caption, and click "submit." Then, users will vote on their favorite entries. The entry with the most votes wins the trip to St. Thomas.

Enter here. Good luck!

Weekend Wrap Up

Outdoor Fun In The First "Laid Back" Weekend In Forever

Orbiting The Planet

The Question has been posed: Where Have You Been?

I am sorry. I had fallen off the planet and was temporarily orbiting the atmosphere.
I can't officially say I've landed yet, though I think I feel my feet touching down.

I have missed so many posts: about Easter, Rella's antics, the 2 weeks of stomach flu that ripped through our entire family... that was good for my second blog hiatus.

What's going on now? There is lots to catch up on but mostly it's the same. For instance, Rella is Rella. Into the fireplace ashes or the cream cheese container. You know, typical Tasmanian Devil whirling dervish type stuff.






I hosted Easter dinner and didn't poison anyone.


Had an egg hunt and everything! Aren't these little felt baskets so cute? From the Dollar Spot at Target...



My desserts were a bust, but the ham was good. Thank God for the Amish. They know how to make a ham not even I can screw up.

CB has not gotten into her diaper the past few weeks (cue the angels singing). The giant "onesie" is working. Instead, she's up to new tricks, like busting out screens if we dare open a window on a nice day... pulling out all of the dresser drawers until the whole dresser topples over onto the floor (or onto her)... emptying out 3 sunscreen containers onto the carpet and smearing them in like finger paint. She must be taking lessons from Rella. It's like, she isn't fecal smearing so she's just replacing it with other destructive schemes.

It's amazing I don't suffer from migraines. But I may be on the verge of a drinking problem.

Oh, and remember all my car issues? Let me recap: In the past 6 months I was
1) in a car accident involving a parked car opening their door into me as I drove past(about $1,500 in damages to my car).

Then 9 days later
2) I backed into a parked car,

then a week after THAT,
3) I hit a pole with the remaining "good side" of my minivan (on the way to the claims adjuster nonetheless). Then,

4) I ripped the leather seat in my HUSBAND'S leased car with a stupid metal nail file in my back pocket. Then,

5) My husband sideswiped a parked car (600$ of damage paid out of pocket),

Then a few weeks later
6) He clipped a rock retaining wall and blew out a 400$ tire which we replaced just in time for

7) a tree to fall on our car and annihilate it (after it hit our newly built home we only inhabited for about 7 weeks).

Now, let's add THIS to our "6 month run of bad car karma" list:

8) I backed into ANOTHER parked car. This time, I slammed MY new minivan into my HUSBAND'S car, parked right behind me in our own driveway.

Ummmmmm.... What is there to say....

To those 3 men out there who read my blog "Aren't you glad you're NOT married to ME?!?!"

At some point, the ridiculous just becomes flat out pathetic.

I may have to voluntarily revoke my own drivers licence. If you see me on the road, my advice is to maintain a safe driving distance. I cannot be trusted.

pentimento

pentimento(pen' ti men' to) n. def 1. An underlying image in a painting, as an earlier painting, part of a painting, or original draft, that shows through, usually when the top layer of paint has become transparent with age.

An old friend of mine created and founded an amazing literary publication called Pentimento Magazine. This magazine will arguably be the first of its kind in that it will be written by individuals with disabilities and their caregivers. Its goal is to give access to those who are usually denied.

The word "pentimento" refers to seeing beyond the surface. Through art, photographs, essays, stories and poetry, Pentimento Magazine will ask its readers to see beyond disabilities and physical challenges, to see the ways in which we are all connected, and to find in our pages a sense of what the poet Emily Dickinson wrote, "I felt it shelter to speak to you."

The magazine cover will feature artwork by a disabled child or young adult. Each issue will include a section devoted to writing by readers on various topics, an unedited first-person perspective piece, essays, poetry, photographs and disability-related quotes.

I am so excited to be a small part of this magazine and encourage all of my readers, particular those who are also great writers, to consider submitting pieces. Pentimento's Call For Submissions is underway for its first issue debuting in January 2011. If you visit the website, you can view the guidelines. If you have a child or young adult with a "different ability" please consider his/her art work, poetry, or "uncut" prose for submission.

You can receive one complimentary copy of Pentimento Magazine (seriously, no strings attached) here

Please help us spread the word to all who may be interested in the community (family, friends, bloggers and helping professionals)about this wonderful magazine and its desire for submissions!