Cookies for Charity

The girls and I found this AMAZING non-profit in our area that does a ton of great charitable projects. One of many that are very family oriented is their Cookies for Charity program. Once a month, volunteers can come to a local church and spend a few hours mixing the cookie ingredients, baking them, and packaging them up for distribution. Our first month there, we made (as a group) about 800 cookies! We made 500 the next time. It's so fun, and the girls love it. 

The cookies are bagged up and given along with small care packages that include toiletry products. These bags are distributed to women and men who are experiencing homelessness in Camden and/or Philadelphia. I am hoping to take the girls on one of those outings soon. I think they will really get a lot more out of that face-to-face contact and see the impact of what one small act of kindness can do.

In the meanwhile, we'll be trying to bake as often as we can with this amazing group! Please message me if you are local to South Jersey and would like to learn more about getting involved. 

Weekend Wrap-Up: Remembering

This weekend we got a lot accomplished around the house. It was one of our few weekends that were not packed with activities and events, and we took full advantage of it to be domestically productive. We did get a babysitter for CB on Saturday morning and ventured out for one important, new tradition.  Volunteering at Wreaths of Remembrance.

Last year, we joined hundreds volunteers in the County's Veterans Cemetery to lay wreaths at the graves of the veterans. This event takes place the first Saturday of December each year, and we decided to make it a family tradition and part of our efforts to do charity work around the holidays.

This year, we had to forgo our school's Breakfast with Santa in favor of this event. But, the girls didn't complain. The weather was rainy and cold. But, the girls didn't complain. In fact, in spite of the weather, hundreds of volunteers turned out! Our boots were drenched, but the girls didn't complain. They get really "into" this! I'm grateful for their sweet hearts. 

After a brief ceremony honoring the soldiers, POWs and their families, volunteers set to work laying a wreath on every, single, solitary one of the nearly 1,200 graves. 

With each wreath laying, we read this card and took a moment to remember each and every veteran (or their spouse). It is an important lesson to teach the girls - that freedom is not really "free." That it is important to take moments to remember. That even in this time of excessive gifts and overstimulation and festivities, we can find small ways to give, step back, and be thankful. 

It's just a matter of taking that moment to remember. 

Weekend Wrap-Up: Tricking and Treating

Another Halloween Night has come and gone, but the candy wrappers remain. It was a fun, busy day and it reminded me that this season too will pass. Meaning, it is such a "holiday" for the little ones. Sure, you can get all dressed up when you're older and hit the bars. Sure, you will give out candy as an adult and oooh and ahhh over the little kids that come to the door dressed as the latest princesses or video game characters. But it's not the same. That excitement you see in your children's eyes and all the ramping up for this sugar-filled night of dress up? It's just not the same.

I appreciate these days.  

Hectic as it was.

Pink's parade was at 9:00 am. The costumes were amazing at her school, which is grades 4 through 6. Simply amazing. Lots of homemade. Lots of creativity. Lots of quirk. Loved it. 

After that, I raced a few towns over to pick up my 50 rolls from the bakery and rushed back home. There, I did my last minute cleaning and food prep. Though I stayed up until 1:00 am to do the lion's share the night before, there was still a bit to do in anticipation of the  40-plus people that would be congregating at our house for the "post trick or treat" party for our neighbors!

Then back to the elementary school to help in Rella's class with the little party, the changing into costumes, and the parade. 

Since I was marching IN the parade with Rella's class, I wasn't able to see Tink in the actual parade. But, luckily, I caught her queuing up in the hallway and snapped my picture (to her mild embarrassment). 

I've never had the chance to volunteer in the classroom on Halloween before. It's a very coveted spot reserved for the room moms and one extra volunteer. This was probably my first, last and only time and I was grateful to get the chance with my last little girl. 

Upon arriving home it was the last minute pre-party frenzy while trying to keep four kids out of my hair. But luckily, it was a nice day so they could stay entertained outside.

Pink the Nerd.

Tink the 50s girl. 

Rella the "Swiss Miss Girl"... who looks like she's been a bit wind blown.

And CB, the ticked off cat. 

Her school has a Halloween party, but the kids don't dress up and parade anymore. At the ages of 19 through 21, it's just a bit juvenile I suppose. 

But, I kept her in the spirit with the cat ears. She's thrilled, as you can tell.

Our whole street trick or treats together, along with a few of their friends who live around the corner. This year, Dr. Fabulous went out with the little ones while I stayed home with CB who doesn't 

a) like to walk 

b) like candy or 

c) like crowds and chaos.

So, this is clearly not her holiday. Nor are any of the others.

Hence, the many photos of the other girls and only one of her. 

I did sneak up the street with the group, because I'm the dork who thinks "I'm gonna miss these days" and just don't want to squander them. 

The post-party was super fun, as it always is. I don't say that to take credit for it.  It's the company, not my stellar entertainment skills. We all 'pot-luck' it and I supply the seasonal beers and local apple wine which gets warmed in a crock pot with mulling spices and just screams FALL!

I also doctor up some of the best homemade hot chocolate for the kids which is simply decadent. 

We partied like rock stars... kids passed out on the couch while parents talked until after midnight. That's the beauty of a Friday night Halloween.  

I didn't really take photos because I was too busy having fun and hostessing, but this one of the two 'besties since pre-K' cracks me up. If you fast forward a few years and substitute red solo cups and a sorority house background? Yeah... it's funny.  And not. 

The girls know the drill with the candy. They pick out a few days worth and then donate the rest to Operation Gratitude. We have donated our excess Halloween candy every year for the past six years to this organization. 

Operation Gratitude is a non-profit organization that assembles and distributes care packages to our active soldiers overseas, veterans, wounded soldiers recovering in hospitals and their families/caregivers. This past year, Operation Gratitude delivered 150,000 care packages. Inside they will have items specific for the soldier's particular needs, like toiletries or magazines and books. They include a homemade card and often a bit of candy... like the candy donated from Halloween! 

Three years ago, a local dentist office started a Candy Buy Back program for Operation Gratitude and we have happily donated our loot to them - I simply LOVE these guys! They make it a big party with a card making station for the soldiers, free hot dogs and lemonade and prizes. They are the warmest, friendliest practice! My girls look forward to the candy donation every year and never balk about giving up so much of their loot. 

Two years ago, we donated about 28 pounds between us and a few friends. The next year we spread the word even more to our friends and neighbors and collected 66 pounds. This year? Thanks to the generosity of so many people and the help of our local coffee shop who set up a donation collection site for us, we were able to donate 81 pounds of candy to the troops! Whooopppppeeee! Can I get a fist bump?

All in all, it was another fun Halloween.  I love my neighbors and friends. I love my kids friends. I love this time of year. I don't love all the candy, necessarily... but I love that we can do something good with it and make this random holiday a little charitable.  

I'm feeling the love, if you can't tell. Feeling it something fierce. 

Kicking off Spring Break

It's the first day of Spring Break!  Everyone is pretty psyched about some family time and some sleeping in.  But before school let out there was the adorable Kindergarten Spring Concert. 

Out of tune singing, and cuteness galore.  My last Kindergarten concert ever.  It made me kinda sad.

CB headed to her Dad's in Maryland for her Spring Break.  

Her new stim has to do with flashcards.... dumping them out of the box, putting them back in.  

There are a million flashcards all over the place.

On this first day, Good Friday, the girls were scheduled to have haircuts and Pink, who has been begging to donate her hair to help people with cancer, finally got her wish.  

She literally has been asking if she can donate her hair for two years and I always talk her out of it.  I was worried her hair would be too too short and I really like her hair longer.  But, after running into a friend at the coffee shop this morning whose daughter just donated HER hair, she told me about Pantene Beautiful Lengths. The great thing about this organization is that you only need a minimum of 8 inches instead of 10. Also, the wigs they make are given FREE of charge unlike Locks of Love who charge their clients several hundred dollars.

Not to judge, because Locks of Love does great stuff, but I really like to support an organization that doesn't put an additional financial burden on people already paying for medical bills.

Here was Pink's hair on Christmas, and it grew a little bit longer since then.

And here it is 9 inches shorter! 

It was all really spontaneous actually.  The haircuts were already scheduled today since they were off of school.  Then, I ran into my friend.  Then, Pink started in on her whole "dream of donating her hair" again. Then, I took out the tape measurer and realized, her hair really wouldn't be that short.  So, we went to the hair salon as scheduled and I just left it up to her.  

She didn't bat an eye. She was so excited!  I've never seen a kid so proud of herself! 

The cool thing is that every kid I know who has donated their hair (and I actually know quite a few) have always 

1. Come up with the idea on their own and been very passionate about it and 

2. Feel so amazing after they do it.  

Plus, kids have the PERFECT hair because it has never been processed and it's not gray!

I think for young kids, it really means something for them to make a decision like this and give one of the few things they can to help another.  It's such a great opportunity for kids to really feel that charitable spirit. 

If you or your child are interested, please check out the Pantene Beautiful Lengths webpage where they have simple instructions and guidelines. 

 

That's my girl. So proud.

Weekend-Wrap Up: Spring In Our Step

Breaking News: We wore flip flops this weekend here in Jersey.  Astonishing, I know.  It was almost... dare I say... hot on Sunday. 

Yet, no one complained. It was a long, cold winter.

Saturday was a morning soccer game followed by a Egg Hunt #1 which is the township's annual hunt.  We use the term "hunt" lightly. There is no actual hunting of eggs - they are simply laying right out in the open in the freshly mowed plot of grass behind a roped off area. 

You don't do it for the challenge. You do it for the chocolate inside each egg that has turned into a melted puddle of goop thanks to the hot sun. 

And, you do it because it's tradition. We love tradition 'round here.

And you do it for the freakishly man-sized Easter Bunny who comes to visit on a firetruck.
Rella loves this dude, but the other girls have long been unimpressed. I think when they gaze into his mesh eyes and see the outline of a human head, it freaks them out.

Post-festivities, we headed off to our afternoon charity project - helping Angels of God assemble 628 Easter baskets! These were  distributed to local homeless shelters, food pantries, and needy families. Each 'basket maker' received index cards with the gender and age of specific children who would be recipients. Then, they personalized the basket for that child - the girls LOVED this part, and I think it made it more meaningful...especially when they got a girl around their age! We are so blessed to live in a community that offers wonderful philanthropy opportunities for children.

CB was a trooper through our three hour shift, and as a whole did AWESOME.  But, I had to keep a constant eye on her as she kept stealing and shredding the beautiful yellow ribbons volunteers were working so hard to assemble. Then she kept trying to steal the grass out of the Easter baskets.  It's like... I have a toddler.  

Perpetual toddler. 

Palm Sunday is a big event with the Italian Catholic "Dr. Fabulous"side of the family. We all congregated at my in-laws with the North Jersey constituency and ate and played all day long. 

The traditional egg hunt was a hit, as always.  Hunt #2 - done.  Two down, two to go Easter Weekend!

During this wonderful family afternoon, I realized it was again like I had a toddler.  I changed  3 wet and one soiled diaper, cut up food, cleaned up spills. I chased CB more than once as she went bolting too far outside of the yard, and apologized for her hitting other children. She ripped a decorative wreath off a wall and destroyed it, broke a pair of rosary beads, ate the "palm" that was given to us for Palm Sunday, stuck her hand in the bowl of salsa, and stole everyone's drink.  That was just her warm-up.

Yup, I still have a 19 year old toddler. Sometimes you gotta laugh. Sometimes you gotta drink the strong stuff. Some weekends necessitate a little of both.

12 Days of Charity

So first I'd like to say this.

Dear Parents,
If you have come clean to your fourth grader about Good Ole St. Nick and The Elf on the Shelf this year that's quite cool and all.  I'm not here to argue against growing up. This is all part of life. But you might want to let them know that it's kinda important not to blab it to many of their  friends who might NOT yet know yet - especially when Christmas is right around the corner and when someone's Mommy's might have actually wanted one, last Christmas where the full Christmas magic is in bloom before the innocence was shattered forever. Is that too much to ask Mommy to Mommy here? Is there a part where you swear them to secrecy or guilt them about not telling others?  Or, do the kids just blab anyway even if their parents warn them not to?

Ya know, maybe it's not a biggie to some parents, Santa-Shmanta,whatever whatever... just another day and all part of growing up.  I mean, I'm a dork - I actually get teary eyed when my children lose their first tooth and cry at the thought of waking up Christmas morning alone after my kids are grown and gone (true story, I actually cried big loser tears talking about it yesterday) and get UPSET that the magic of Christmas has to be lost for a 9 year old because some kids feel the need to show how cool and mature they are... but please... I know I'm on borrowed time here but can you throw me a bone people! I didn't get to do ANY of this with CB and I'm just eating it all up and it's going by way too fast.  I'm not ready.

That's it.  A very upsetting day in Mommy-Land.  First Pink has "Santa Questions" (though she's only asking and cover has not been completely blown) and then baby Rella has 2 freaking loose teeth.

I'm seriously not ready for this.

Anyway, that's the end of that rant. Make ALL the fun you'd like.

Now, breathing deeeeep.... feeling the love, feeling the love.

So, yes. Christmas and all the Winter Holidays are not about Santa, of course.  They are about love and giving and sharing and family.  So, in that vein I wanted to select 12 things to do with the girls that were reflective of that.  I knew there was no way I could do one of these "25 Acts of Kindness" things - that would just set me up for failure.  Twelve may be pushing it, just because I can only think of 10, but 12 goes with The 12 Days of Christmas so I'm gonna have to "dig deep."

Here's my start:

1. Write some Holiday Cards for Heroes that will be distributed to active duty and wounded U.S. soldiers - DONE
2. Donate toys and volunteer at Santa's Workshop - DONE
3. Spread holiday cheer with the residents of a nursing home - DONE today!!



The girls and their Kids Philanthropy group decorated holiday door hangers and then distributed them to the residents.  It's really cute to see them interact.

CB kept off to the side, but she's getting used to it there.



So, then I also have :

4. Donate books for the library's "New Book Drive"
5. Donate to our church's Food Pantry for holiday dinners
6. Sponsor a Child for a local holiday roller skating party - DONE
7. Write a Thank you note to someone special and tell them what you like about them
8. Go through old toys and games and donate
9. Sing in the Children's Christmas Choir for the Christmas Eve Mass - not me of course.
10. Volunteer to lay wreaths at each of the 1800 tombs at the Veterans Cemetery - Our whole family is actually volunteering to do this on Sunday morning!

And that's about where I lose my creativity. Any suggestions?

tHERsDay and A Little Housekeeping

Today is tHERsDay, and CB is having a pretty good week so far.  No complaints here.

She's so cute.

Time for a little light housekeeping.

* Pentimento Magazine's second issue will be coming out December 15th and I have the good fortune of having an essay featured in this issue.  As a contributing editor, I had the opportunity to preview this issue too for editorial assistance. After reading it straight through and seeing the layout, I was blurry eyed with tears and overcome with emotion. That's what this magazine does. It makes you ache, good and bad, and feel connected to an entire community of people in your "tribe" of the differently-abled.  I love this magazine. It is only available in print so PLEASE consider a subscription at $10.00/year.  It costs less than a coffee habit or a few books on your Kindle.

* I've been featured again on the Families for Communities Blog and Resource page. This is a wonderful website for parents of children with special needs so please show them some support!

* Want a "feel good" Facebook page?  The Grow Love Project celebrates ordinary acts of kindness we see, hear, read, or do every day. They just started facebook page.  It's not a non-profit. It's not an orgazination or a blog or anything self-promoting. It's just a really cool woman trying to create a space to share good things, charitable deeds, random acts of kindness with the world.  Join the community, post what you are doing with YOUR family in your corner of the world.  Be the spark, be a light, be an inspiration.

(P.S. They have the cutest T-shirts on their website. I am so hunting this down and GETTING ONE to wear with a black maxi skirt and fitted denim jacket and boots. Not that I'm planning the outfit in my head right now or anything).

* Speaking of outfits - Heavenly Soles sent me a pair of sheepskin boots to test drive and review.

I have to confess my shallowness here.  The giant "HS" on the back throws me off.  And when I say "throws me off" what I mean is that I don't like it one bit because I feel like I'm wearing knock off Uggs or Koolaburras. BUT, I will also confess that they are actually really warm and comfy. But, I won't wear them outside of the house. I almost treat them like slippers.  Feel free to make fun of me. I am that pathetic, I know.

So if you are not as ridiculous as I, and don't mind a giant HS on the back of your boot, check them out. They are less expensive than the higher end sheep skin boot and though I can't comment on their durability because they are so new, I can say that my two pairs of Uggs haven't really held up very well over the last few years.

Ok, next subject....

* My newest article on Handling Food Allergies at the Holidays, specifically at Thanksgiving, is up on SheKnows. It offers tips from moms who know how difficult Thanksgiving can be for kids with serious, life-threatening food allergies.

*And now it's time for bed.  G'night!

American Education Week

This week is American Education Week in New Jersey and parents get an opportunity to go in and observe their child's classroom! I was just in Pink's class this morning and it was really cool.

Having my last three kids so close together was wonderful and I wouldn't have wanted it any other way.  But, it did pose some challenges.  Sleep, showering and sanity suffered.  Another challenge was that when Pink started Kindergarten it was nearly impossible for me to get in to the classroom to volunteer when I had 2 little ones still at home and no family around for childcare.  Same went for Tink when she started school - there was still little Rella running around. So, I didn't come in for "Mystery Reader" or help with Centers or volunteer to be Room Mom (the latter of which I actually have no interest in ever doing).

It's difficult for working parents to get into the school and sometimes it is difficult for stay at home parents as well.  Yet, I think we all like the idea of at least getting to observe the classroom environment when they are little, when we can. 

Rella, the last little duckling, got the least attention as a baby, all the hand-me-downs, and gets left out of her older sisters' games sometimes. But, she lucks out in that I can actually spend some time in her classroom once a month volunteering with Centers. It's really fun to get to know the kids better, the teacher better, and get a glimpse into the Kindergarten day.  

We are very fortunate to be in a great public school district.  I love the elementary school and so far, I'm loving Pink's new school, Grades 4 through 6, as well.  The teachers are incredible in our township, and though no school is ever without flaws, our district is pretty great. We're very proud to send our children here.  CB's school is amazing as well and these teachers, in my opinion, are even more deserving of praise. They work with a very, very challenging group of kids and not everyone can do it. 

Dr. Fabulous and I obviously value education. We should - we both completed 300 years of school and have doctorate degrees in Clinical Psychology. My father is a medical doctor and his mother received an honorary doctorate degree in the mental health field. In essence, my children come from a long line of nerds and bookworms. But these degrees certainly don't mean we're any smarter than anyone else.  In fact, I could list a million people I know who have more intelligence than I.  I just memorized a lot of things that won't serve me well in an Armageddon situation so... I'll be eaten first. 

Despite the fact that amount of schooling or grades can't always predict future success, I still strongly believe that a good education is invaluable for giving you the kind of flexibility you need to make a variety of choices in your life. I also strongly believe one of the main keys with education is not necessarily being the most naturally gifted or smartest. It's often about a family's value on education, the individual's motivation and desire to learn and their work ethic and good study habits. I am actually pretty painfully average cognitively. Yet, I've accomplished a great deal academically because I found a field of interest to me and had the tenacity to set a goal and not give up until I attained it. Obviously, the way my parents raised me had a lot to do with that.

It certainly takes great teachers, a school with resources and a quality curriculum to make sure our kids are prepared academically. And I'll never argue that success takes more than "book smarts."  Creativity, problem solving skills, SOCIAL and interpersonal skills, philanthropic behaviors are inarguably part of the equation. But everyone needs a solid academic foundation. The teachers, however, can't do everything. We as parents need to do our best to reinforce learning at home while our children are young and impressionable.

 Yet, it's hard, I admit.  My kids like to learn and they thankfully do not appear to have any learning or attentional difficulties. But they have their areas of strength and weakness and like most kids they don't necessarily like to always put EFFORT into things that don't come easily. Their motivation needs prodding sometimes. When learning comes easy, they're all into it.  When they start getting challenged? Sure, the frustration comes.  They are sometimes inclined to give up prematurely unless we intervene.

I rely on their teachers a great deal for all the ideas and resources and support they provide for us to work with the kids at home. The communication between teacher and parent is so important. It can be overwhelming when they let you know all these things you can do at home, but you don't have to do it all.  There are so many awesome apps and websites that certainly make learning fun (though they end up monopolizing my precious computer). I try to do the best I can. I think the idea is to just keep the kids practicing, especially over the weekends and longer breaks.

Above all, I am a firm believer in good old fashioned nose-in-a-book-with-real-pages READING. If I do nothing else, I always fall back on reading, reading, reading. My kids will read to themselves before bed, they'll read on the side lines while a sister is at soccer or swim practice. They'll read to each other. I'll read to them. A story app will read aloud as they follow along.

Did you know that if a child reads 20 minutes a day during the school year that they are exposed to
1,800,000 words? A student who reads 5 minutes each day?  282,000 words. Incredible.

I know not every kid takes to reading and some may even struggle with it.  I have some people in my extended family who struggle with reading. In those cases, the Mom reads to them (even though they are 13) and buys the Kindle Fire that can read aloud to you.  Whatever works for you.  Whatever works, just don't give up and give in.

Another thing I am a stickler about is getting homework done right away.  I think most people have the tendency to procrastinate. It's in our nature.  So, I'm trying to instill some good work habits NOW while I have the utmost of control as "The Mom," and hopefully some of it will stick.

Education is so important and I am tremendously thankful for those who dedicate their lives to teaching and school administration. While I certainly don't have any guarantees about how everything will go down with my children and school,  I do know that it is amazing to watch them learn and grow each day.